Engagement Ring Etiquette

by Claire Valenty on January 26, 2010

in Wedding Etiquette

wedding engagement ring etiquette

Although the most exciting part of getting engaged is the wedding, do not make the mistake of just buying any old engagement ring. Your future wife will have that sparkler on her hand “until death do you part”, so spend the appropriate amount of time researching not only what is out there, but, also what your fiancée wants.

What does she want?
Ah, the question so many men shopping for the perfect engagement ring forget. Women aren’t dumb; we know you’re about to pop the question. The biggest fear is, “What if I don’t like the ring?” You won’t be spoiling any surprises by pulling her over to the ring display case when you’re at the mall and asking her which ones she likes. Make note of the band width, if she likes gold, platinum or silver, the shape of the diamond (there’s a ton – trust me; she’ll know the names) and the setting. Etiquette states: DO NOT BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING UNTIL YOU’RE 110% CERTAIN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS.

The Purchase
How much does an engagement ring cost? How much should you spend? Spend what you believe is reasonable; with all the internet discounts and diamond warehouses around these days, there are no etiquette rules. The amount of money you spend doesn’t reflect how much you love her and it certainly should not send you to the poor house. Not having a big budget for the ring doesn’t have to derail your plans to pop the question with a dazzling sparkler. Buying on line is sometimes sketchy, but, if you do your homework and make sure a site has an amazing reputation (“good” reputation is not going to cut it here), then you should be safe. The internet is also a great place to do some research on the 4 C’s (color, clarity, cut and carat) to figure out the best diamond you can afford.

If you shop for your ring in person, make sure you have a very clear idea of what you’re going to be purchasing before you step foot in the store. Salespeople are hired because they are very persuasive. More often than not, they work on commission. So now you have a persuasive person who is trying to sell you a more expensive ring; not because it is right for you or your fiancée, but, because it means more money in their pocket. Be firm in what it is you are looking for. Be open to what they suggest (a rare few really do genuinely want to help you), but, do not let them steer you off of your path.

At the end of the day, you will have done your research to ensure you’re getting the best bang for your buck. When you propose, your fiancée is going to be thrilled with the ring. Trust your gut and have fun! You’re going to do great!

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