Ex-Etiquette When Dealing with Your Children

by Claire Valenty on May 23, 2010

in Dating Etiquette

dating children etiquette

Ex-etiquette when dealing with your children all comes down to what is best for your kids.  Need some tips on minimizing friction when dealing with your ex (and possibly their new partner)?  We’ve got you covered with this article.

You and your ex have parted ways; hopefully, both of you are moving on towards something bigger and better. But, it is difficult to move on when you have children together and still need to see each other to coordinate their lives. Ex-etiquette when dealing with your children is vital to ensuring your children grow up knowing they are loved and cherished, even if their parents no longer feel that way about each other.

Never talk bad about your ex. No matter that you know for a fact your ex is lying, cheating no gooder, never let your children hear you utter a bad word about them. That is their parent that they love unconditionally. Hearing the other parent that they also love unconditionally put them down will only confuse them. Life is confusing enough as a child; don’t make it any harder. The same goes for your ex’s new partner.

Don’t do things out of spite. Yes, you are pissed because your husband left you for his bimbo secretary, but, don’t make your kids pay the price. Be the adult and put your feelings aside for the sake of your children. If your child can not sleep without their favorite stuffed animal, don’t “accidentally” forget to pack it, ensuring your ex will have a sleepless night. The only person you are really hurting is your child.

Establish a visitation schedule and stick to it, but, also be flexible. Knowing the visitation schedule in advance and abiding by it removes a lot of opportunities for friction. However, if your ex wants to take the kids to the circus and it’s your weekend to have the kids, don’t make an excuse up as to why he can’t see them. Remember, children need to see both of their parents, unless there is a situation where the courts have deemed that a parent is unfit and a bad influence on the child.

Photo: 123rf/Gavril Bernad

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