Wedding gift registries were established long, long ago to help the new couple set up their new home together (back when people moved straight from their parents’ homes to newlywed bliss). As people wait to get married and/or live together before getting married, the day to day household necessities are usually purchased long before marriage is even a consideration. Even if you do not need household items, tradition has not lost its firm hold on what is acceptable to add to your registry. Asking for money to pay for your wedding and or honeymoon is still not socially tolerable by the masses. Adding to the confusion is a site called “Honeyfund”, where you can break your honeymoon and/or wedding down to each individual cost which your guests can contribute to.
The Honeyfund site gives examples of someone’s honeymoon wish list:
- $95 – romantic dinners
- $600 – accommodation
- $200 – massages
- $40 – champagne & chocolates in the room
And the list went on and on. Your guests choose what they would like to contribute to as your wedding present. Honeyfund, and some sites like it, then charge your guests to process their payment via PayPal.
Some reviews of Honeyfund have newly married couples stating their guests were excited to be involved in their honeymoon planning. Personally, I love my friends and all, but, I would rather get them something solid that they use and think of me, instead of being one of twenty people that pooled resources together to help them pay for their airfare to Fiji.
This article is not slamming Honeyfund particularly. You looked for this article because you were concerned about whether asking for money to fund your honeymoon and/or wedding was proper etiquette. Maybe this will change in the future, but, for now and for as long as I can see, this is way too modern of an innovation to go with traditional weddings. If you really do have a full house already, create a wedding registry to update your items or limit the items on your registry to force your guests to get creative or give you cash! In the end, you still get what you want ($$$) without being tacky. Or, you can always ask that donations be made to your favorite charity – just as long as your favorite charity is not you!
Further Reading: Heifer.org
Photo: gimmestock/Horst Petzold