Male Restroom Etiquette

by Claire Valenty on July 11, 2010

in Everyday Etiquette

everyday mensroom etiquette

If you do not follow proper male restroom etiquette, every trip to a public bathroom you make could be your last.  Find out what you can do to eliminate the danger in our article here.

For women, trips to the restroom are social events.  They go in pairs or larger groups, touch up their make up and hair, rearrange their clothes and do their business, non-stop gabbing the whole time about anything from idle gossip to serious discussions.  Anything goes for women.  However, the same can not be said for men.  Their trips to the restroom are solitary events with no talking before, during or after.  And DEFINITELY no eye contact.  Most men learn male restroom etiquette from their fathers.  However, according to my male friends, there is a larger than comfortable population out there of men who are clueless when it comes to these unspoken rules.   For those, we offer this article on Male Restroom Etiquette.

The number one rule for male bathroom etiquette is avoid eye contact.  Avoid eye contact when entering the restroom, avoid eye contact when approaching the urinal, avoid eye contact when leaving the urinal, avoid eye contact when washing your hands and avoid eye contact when leaving the restroom.  When doing the actual deed, look straight ahead at the wall, not down, as your neighbors will think you are eying their goods.  In case you didn’t get the point of the number one rule, I’ll repeat it: AVOID EYE CONTACT!

When approaching the urinal, go as far away as humanly possible from any other man already at the urinal, keeping a minimum of one urinal between the two of you.  If you are going to end up standing right next to another dude, opt out for the stall or make a big deal out of checking yourself out in the mirror or washing your hands, etc., until a urinal opens up.

Do not start talking to someone in the bathroom.  Even if it’s your long lost best friend from college, all that is allowed is a nod of acknowledgment.  Do not let even a simple “Hi” pass through your lips.  Your secret frat handshake can wait until you are free from the sacred walls of the bathroom.

Let me break it down for you again: do not look at anyone, do not talk to anyone, do not stand next to anyone.  Walk in, do your business, wash your hands and get out as fast as you possibly can.  To do otherwise leaves you wide open for an ass kicking in case someone misinterprets your wandering gaze!

Photo: istock/Georgii Dolgykh

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