Protocol for How to Pick a Best Man

by Claire Valenty on November 22, 2010

in Wedding Etiquette

wedding best man etiquette

The groom usually does not have too many responsibilities when it comes to planning the wedding.  The bride already has her mind made up about the venue, the food, the attire, the music, the invitations, the decor and the photographer and the groom better agree with her…or else!  Making decisions becomes a snap for the bride because she is forced to make so many so quickly (and on a budget).  But, what about the poor groom whose main duty (and only duty, usually) is to pick his best man?  How does he do that?  By consulting our article, of course!  The groom should make a short list of those he thinks are suitable to be his best man, and then ask himself the following questions:

  • Who can you depend on? (number one thing to consider)
  • Who will be happy to receive this honor?
  • Who will be excited to be involved in the necessary best man planning and responsibilities?
  • Who will be able to give an entertaining (and appropriate) speech in front of a large group of people without their nerves getting in the way?
  • Who can the groom go to in case there is an emergency on the wedding day?
  • Does the bride like him?
  • Will he be available to help out before the wedding?

These last two questions aren’t deal breakers for a potential best man, but, should still be reflected upon and may come in handy for a tie breaker.

As for who out of your guy friends and family should be your best man, there really aren’t any set rules these days.  It used to be that you would pick your brother, but, some grooms find that to be difficult if they have more than one brother and/or they are closer to another one of their guy friends.  Ultimately, it is your best man, your wedding and your decision.  The role of the best man is an important one in this big step in your life, so, whether you choose your brother, best friend, cousin, father or even a woman, just worry about what you think, and not everyone else!

More Sources: How to Pick Your Best Man for Your Wedding

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jeff May 8, 2019 at 2:57 am

Is it proper etiquette to have my son be the best man to my and his future step mother’s wedding as his birth mother has passed (2 years ago)

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