After reading “Who Pays for What – Wedding”, we all know that the bridesmaids are usually responsible for paying for their own dresses. But, what happens if the wedding is canceled? Who is responsible for the expense, then?
In order to accurately represent this situation, it needs to be examined from both sides.
On one side, you have the discarded bridesmaid. She has probably spent somewhere around $200 on a bridesmaid’s dress (that she may or may not even like), $50 (if she is lucky) on shoes, $40 on matching jewelry and maybe even $50 for a deposit on her hair and make-up. That is around $350 she is out of pocket for a wedding that will never take place.
On the other side, you have a bride who, for some reason or another, will not be getting her dream wedding day. Maybe her fiancé left her; maybe she left him. Maybe they eloped to save money or they simply decided to cut out the wedding party completely. Regardless of the reason, her mind is probably constantly churning with the stress and the drama of it all. Not only is there the emotional turmoil to deal with, but, she will have disappointed friends and family wanting to know the gory details, venues and catering companies not refunding her deposits and a wedding dress she will never wear taking up half of her closet. And then her so-called closest friends start giving her flack about a few measly hundred dollars? How dare they, when they helped pick out the dresses and shoes that they loved, when they weren’t the bride’s first choice, but she wanted her friends to be able to wear their dresses again (and not drown them in orange taffeta)?
After researching various forums, the common thread is this: no matter what the circumstances are surrounding a wedding cancellation, proper and expected etiquette is for the bride to offer to reimburse the bridesmaids for their costs if the wedding is not going to be rescheduled. This should include all alteration and hidden costs. And proper and expected etiquette for the bride’s dear friends is to politely decline.
As with most rules to do with etiquette, this is simply about being courteous to the other person. Although it might be the bride’s fault the wedding is not taking place, to be a truly good friend is to have her back, no matter what. And, you might even be able to return the unused items and get your money back, anyway, or, if you picked them out and love them, keep them for another event!
Further Reading: inventorspot.com
Photo: dreamstime/David Coleman