The number one rule regarding wedding etiquette children wise is: don’t bring them if they aren’t invited. If the invitation is not addressed to them or doesn’t include them in some way or another, don’t even ask. Those getting married choose not to invite children as weddings are very organized events and, as we all know, keeping children organized doesn’t always happen. The proceedings are orientated towards adults (dinner, dancing and drinks) and even if the party atmosphere is casual, having children present does change the mood of a party.
When getting married, in order to avoid the wrath of your family, it’s probably best to invite your brother’s, sister’s, close cousin’s, etc. children. Unless you have a close relationship with your friends’ children, it is perfectly acceptable not to invite them. Even if you do have such a relationship, you are under no expectation to invite them. Keep in mind if you do have children at your wedding, they can be unpredictable, but, can also add a lot of fun to your party (especially on the dance floor).
If you are attending a wedding and your children are invited, ensure they are clothed in the proper attire according to the dress code on the invitation. Of course, everyone wants to believe that their children are perfect angels, but, in this case, you really want to make sure this is true. Remember, this is the special day for someone you are close to and the last thing you need is your kid running around the room like a crazy person when the bridal party is giving their toasts. Rein them in during the ceremony and reception, and then use the dancing as a perfect way to let them run wild and wear themselves out, just in time for you to bring them home and put them to bed.