Wedding RSVP Etiquette

by Claire Valenty on January 26, 2010

in Wedding Etiquette

wedding rsvp etiquett3

You go through your mail one day to find something you knew was coming: a wedding invitation from a friend or family member. What to do next? Don’t respond without first checking out these rules regarding wedding RSVP etiquette.

RSVP as soon as you know your availability to attend. If you’re waiting a few weeks to find out if your work might send you to China that date, then wait until you know you can attend for sure. If you have that date circled on every calendar in your house because you wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world, then respond to the invitation right away. The future happy couple has many important decisions regarding their wedding that depend on their headcount; it needs to be as accurate as possible. Constantly changing responses from their guests does not help that situation.

Most wedding invitations ask your meal choice. Make sure you fill this in. This is another one of those important factors that influence the bride and groom’s planning of their wedding.

If the invitation does not say “and guest” DO NOT bring a guest. Yes, it is unfortunate that you may have to spend an evening apart from your significant other and you may not know anyone else that is attending the wedding, but, think of it as an adventure. The bride and groom are not doing this to be cruel; maybe their dream venue could not hold a large group; maybe their budget was tight. Regardless of their reason, it’s their reason and it’s their wedding. Go alone and enjoy some fun and free food. And if you’re single, think of the fantastic opportunity to meet the person of your dreams who may have had to leave their significant other at home and head off to the wedding…alone…and you can console them…at the open bar.

It is the norm that unless the bride or groom has indicated to you that your children are welcome, you should leave them at home. Weddings are “for the grown ups” and most of the time when you see children at weddings, it is because they are family. If you are family with the bride and groom, simply ask. Never assume.

And, last, but not least, those wedding invitations, inserts, directions and RSVP cards cost a fortune. Make sure to immediately call the future couple and gush about how wonderful they are. You might score yourself a table closer to the action by following this wedding RSVP etiquette!

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